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it feels like my birthday was decade ago
i'm crying, you're the only color i can feel
i whispered i'm a pile of shards
fragmented into your arms, blazing blue
my skin tingles of the thought of tomorrow, last summer
new winds and fingertips on my palm
          the blaze changes the hue, we've met
          in this universe


Performing ghost

There's delay in my power button
in the best days I forget myself
I root myself so deep that
I disappear

          predictions - me
          fighting on a balanced board

Sometimes I don't feel bad
I just shine with my absence
shiny and beautiful, hollow hodgepodge
with glassy eyes

          the sheet is here
          "How can I help you?"



No one holds me
the start of psyche is a mistake
in this world
the basic essence (of ours) is lost

Curtains that can't be grasped
pain that's not spoken
the silence tucks you in
still on the morning


Peg leg

Would you return to my roots
just for a moment, please
open the matchbox with me
light the past on fire
hand in hand, would be better
that the ashes wouldn't keep
my feet


11am (iv)

i told you about a pot full of shards
i slided your hand under my shirt
i let you touch

my sensitivity frequency turned to southeast
on tiptoes, but not with you

we formed a protective shell together
           or so i thought
until you slammed me on the wall




Under the love
in this life
you'd rather be in pair



The fog eats my brain cells
competing with time
My saturation weakens
           the colors are leaving my body
I'm scaling to the void
           can you still see me?

The true colors are a memory
in your memories of me
My whirling mind sunk into blackness
           I am lost



I spread myself open like a flower
like an iron I hold
two realities

I swallow the time
I wrap myself into a knot
throwing myself downhill


The world

In the details there's beauty
you taught me: less is more
love dances in the night
fireflies show the way

You sleek my cracks together
hand in hand with the sand of time
the heat of the earth elevates us to the heavens
like the volcanic eruption I acknowledge
           the space to breathe



In silence, I stroked you
I drew pictures of the future in my mind
I overthrew my concerns to the sedating movements
your still expression made me ripple
- life is here



can i draw your star chart
point-to-point you
sink into your eyes
while the seconds turn to sand

swim with you under the stars
fall asleep under the moonlight's embrace
just with you
promise, yesterday and tomorrow

would you turn my next chapter
tickle the ink pen on my surface
writing yourself into my life
h o n e y


I surrender

In a fragile world
with the floating steps
I fall into your embrace
In the middle of all the grayness
my gauge comes loose

I look at the flames of the past
I squeeze you a bit more tough
Our flows met
in the blueness there's orange
the heat ripples between us

The kiss wakes me up
the vibration shall shows today's direction
The light of the sun embraces your face
can you feel the heat
that you give to me?



We wrapped ourselves together
like the world would end tomorrow
You suck all the grayness out of from me
          fill with colors
          with the ability to see
                               - the world

Our scents mix together
every one of my senses wants you
The sheets aren't the limit
- the world is ours today


The movement of love

Energy, believing and trust
braided us together
like autumn braided the spring
          the fire between us
           surrounding coldness

We danced at the masquerade
against the madness that was around us
my tongue told you stories
larking behind the dividing wall
our worlds collided



          in the grayness
I yearn a thing
          a place
                    a person

My soul ripples with dust
while things are circling around me
my hands don't bend
around them

I've lost the border



you praised us, you praised yourself
while you were in a wrong boat
our streams wondered into seperate directions
as we spoke about the same sky

your blind spot hid me
you were more like home under your anger
my pulse got lost into the vibration of the bottom of the glass
when at the same time you decided to let me go



You tie me to madness
with your coarse hands
the grip feels soft
like the way we ignite flames


Error in the algorithm

Splits are clean
sheets are dirty
         seems like we forgot to wash



I wrote lies to your walls
we stepped into our characters of the past
we acted to be part of the same mystery

You surrounded me with familiar roses
drowned me into the scent of your perfume
since the first day

You tore pages out of me
you dug, scraped your way to the core
dear, rosy time bomb


Where are you, soul?

myself to the moving world
I sigh, I hear
        the silence
                the hum
the gritting of basis cranii

I whiz the spine
search my core
         my root
                        in the wrong place
                I fall
from down to up


I felt (it)

Your fingers felt other footprints
an echo of a former path
in the next room

Your lips were knotted
into a silent decision
(already) a long time ago

Your heart was gnawed by a mistake
expired date
a clog in the bloodstream

Your mind insisted and yearned
to get under a fabled golden apple tree
unable to see foward

Your feet indicated that they walked for me
the steps pointed otherwise



I drown myself to the longing
to the past, to the present
I talk to the birds, to the fishes
I lose myself into the swirls

I stripped myself from jewelry
I'm here - vulnerable
What did you plan to do
with me?



Sometimes I feel like
I'm wearing an uniform
that I can't
get off
even when I'm naked



I dream of you
I dream of us
of roads
that would knit our lives together

        You're like harmony;
        you keep the pieces of weekdays
        together, gently joined


To love

Sometimes the doves fly over us
I'll stitch myself to be unified
over and over again
while hoarfrost slightly opens the door into my mind

Where all have I taken my body to
where all have my mind taken itself
My soul births words when I step out
empties itself when I walk in through the door

The hectic slow world
spiralizes into a glowing life
in each of us




The poems have currently been translated all the way back to October 2016, others will mostly appear in Finnish. My apologies, the process takes quite a long time with this many poems. I hope you can still enjoy the ones that are translated!

Number of poems still to be translated


© 2012-2024 Kettu Saarinen (Varjoalitajunta). All rights reserved.