nightmare (vi)

you said we were vanilla
without wanting to open other flavours

you wanted to show that the relationship works
to the outside
because you knew you were broken

i lived in a lie
because of you
i was just a pawn in the puzzle of your life
when you were looking for the missing pieces

how could I ever stand you

        my honey was a liar


10/11/2019

you weren't (v)

i layed my eyes on you
looking for a friend
around the pipe dreams
i found a maze
made of tears

you met me in dead ends
you touched me in open places
you painted a picture of your presence
even after years
the same repeated in fastfoward


          honey


13/6/2019

11am (iv)

i told you about a pot full of shards
i slided your hand under my shirt
i let you touch

my sensitivity frequency turned to southeast
on tiptoes, but not with you

we formed a protective shell together
           or so i thought
until you slammed me on the wall

           honey


30/11/2018

iii

you praised us, you praised yourself
while you were in a wrong boat
our streams wondered into seperate directions
as we spoke about the same sky

your blind spot hid me
you were more like home under your anger
my pulse got lost into the vibration of the bottom of the glass
when at the same time you decided to let me go
        honey


20/8/2018

honey (ii)

turn me to the southeast
just turn harder
        honey

tear my every cell
every single one of them
        honey

don't care about me
don't care at all
        honey

        nothing is
        we aren't
                honey


5/12/2017

i

it took you time to understand
to let go

i pity
     you
           us

blind spots
that i wanted to forget


at this moment
      after a year
the only thing i want to thank you

is
that you gave me a reason
that could not be silenced

a reason
     to let go
           to open eyes

to breathe


16/8/2017